Spicy Subscription (NSFW!)

Ooh la la!

I got a great opportunity to review a box from the wonderful people at Spicy Subscriptions.  This is an "adult" box (and therefore, my hubby's new favorite of my subscription boxes!) so I thought I'd put all the content into a spoiler.  I feel I should spare your delicate eyes, or the eyes of any kids that happen to be hanging out nearby! Also if I know you in real life or happen to be related to you, just scroll on by.  Don't make the next family reunion awkward.  (Or read it.  Whatevs.)

First of all, can I just say that every time I read the word "Spicy", this plays in my head?

Oh Stefon... gonna miss ya!  Ok, here it is!  SPICY!

I know I'm throwing up all kinds of "Warning!" and "Not Safe For Work!", but this box is pretty tame by "adult" box standards.  There are waaaay more kinky options.  Spicy Subscriptions has two different levels, Premium (1 Flirty Item, 1 or 2 Full-Size Items, and 4-8 Trial Size Items) for $24.95 a month, or Deluxe (1 Deluxe Item, 1 or 2 Full-Size Items, 1 Deluxe Accessory, and 4-8 Trial Size Items) for $34.95 a month.  I was sent a Deluxe Spicy Box (woo-hoo!) to review.

I think this box is perfect for an anniversary gift for your husband (but yeah, in private, not in front of the kids or extended family!), or for a bride-to-be at a lingerie shower.  I would absolutely call this one of the classier boxes.  Also, the second I opened it, there was PINK EVERYWHERE, and you know I can't resist that!  The box is shipped very discreetly, in an outer USPS envelope.  The box is inside and looks like this:

The box is black and glossy, with a pink devil's tail going across the front.  I love this design, I feel like it hints at being naughty, without being vulgar.  Here's a First Look:

PINK!  I love pink!  I think it gives this box a flirty touch.  I read over the contents card, was pretty reassured that nothing was going to jump out and bite me, so I dove in and started pulling stuff out!

The first item is the Chocolate Fantasy Body Topping in Chocolate Strawberry ($15).  Well you know what I did... popped it open, and poured some on my hand!  This is DELICIOUS!  It tastes exactly like chocolate-dipped strawberries!  It is mainly made of sugar (High Fructose Corn Sweetener and Corn Syrup were the first two ingredients), so I honestly wouldn't recommend letting this stuff get near any sensitive areas.  Otherwise, have fun!

Do what now?  These just made me giggle.  Comfortably Numb Oral Sex Mints in Mint Chocolate ($8)   However, continuing in the the spirit of "If it's chocolate, taste it!" I popped one of these triangle-shaped mints in my mouth.  It also has a good flavor, the mint is the strongest taste, with a faint (and slightly chalky) taste of chocolate.  However, the numbing effect didn't work too well on me.  There was a faint loss of sensation, but nothing too noticeable.

Next, I pulled out Moist Personal Lubricant (4 oz, $13), which is a water-based and unscented.  This is actually one of the healthiest kinds of lube, and the pump dispenser at the top is convenient.  I put some on the back of my hand, it is smooth and slippery without being sticky.

Oooh, here's where it starts getting SPICY!  This is the Pleasure Lickz Vibrating Tongue Stimulator ($1.25) which supposedly slips on over your tongue.  There is a little plastic loop, but when I tried to stretch it out to put it on over my tongue (which is in no way a large tongue), the plastic snapped.  Also, I would totally be afraid of choking on this thing!  But when I turned it on, it vibrated so hard it just about jumped out of my hand!  So... use at your own risk?

Again, with the pink!  Sweet!  This is the Neon Luv Touch Mini Mite "Personal Massager" ($9.50) with 4 soothing attachments.  This was actually the biggest disappointment in the box.  It didn't come with batteries, so I grabbed a AA battery, popped it in, and... nada.  I tried 4 different other batteries, all of which I KNOW worked (I put them in a flashlight to test them), and only one worked... and I had to hold the switch on/down as hard as I could.  Which, even if you were totally using this to massage some sore neck muscles, would be annoying and hard to manage.  So sad.

There were also a few foil packets, one of a sparkly body lotion (which apparently contains pheremones?  What am I, a firefly?)  and another type of lube.

All told, the box was worth $46.75, which is well over the cost of the box!  Also, with the free shipping and discreet delivery, this is such a perfect way to add a little spice into your relationship.  Interested?  Go check out Spicy Subscriptions here, and tell them A Magical Mom sent you!